Home > Uncategorized > Allardyce: swine flu is not tactical

Allardyce: swine flu is not tactical

Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce has denied claims that he plans to take the Premier League by storm by infecting every other team with swine flu.

After two massive defeats against Arsenal and Chelsea, The Lancashire-based outfit are rumoured to be researching new biological-warfare approaches in order to eliminate their competition.

Allardyce learned powerful mind-tricks at the Reebok

“My scouting trip to the Libya had nothing to do with learning how to infect people with viruses, and my meeting with Colnel Gadaffi around the time of the outbreak was purely co-incidental,” he potentially pleaded.

The devious Allardyce has a back-ground of underhand tactics, after achieving success at Bolton by brainwashing ageing superstars into believing they were still talented.

But his mind-powers failed to convince his over-price imports that they had any ability while in charge at Newcastle, so it appears he has resorted to infecting opponents with contagious bacteria.

Suspicions were confounded after an FA announcement that spitting on the pitch could lead to the spreading of swine flu coincided with El-Hadj Diouf being restored to the first team.

– The Dirty Tackle Press is a satirical football parody and contains no true facts whatsoever –

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