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Al-Fahim sells Pompey to fictional character

Shieking up a storm of mystery

Illusive Portsmouth shareholder Suliaman Al-Fahim has again gone to great lengths to avoid his staff, this time by selling the club to a man who may not even exist.

Obscure oligarch Ali Al Faraj bought a 90% stake in the capsizing club, but Saudi league commissioner and fountain of knowledge Dr Hafez Almedlej has never even heard of the man who acquired the sinking ship from Al-Fahim.

Saudi Cheif: Knows almost everybody 

The sneaky sheik has previously evaded his team by voluntarily admitting himself to hospital, and by appointing an extra layer of irrelevant management, in Avram Grant, to further distance himself from his players.

But the news that the new owner may not even be a real person is rumored to have infuriated ever-on-edge manager Paul Hart.

Hart, who holds a monopoly over the ‘Next Premier League manager to be sacked’ betting market, possibly never said: “It was bad enough not being paid, but having some sort of Charlie’s Angels character dishing out the wages is the final straw.”

“I am even tempted to leave if he doesn’t sack me in the morning. ”

How Al-Fahim will next sidestep his commitments after the faux-sale is anyone’s guess, but there it is possible that the devious director has a few more tricks up his sleeve.

Hart may or may not have added: “I’ve never even seen Al-Fahim apart from in photographs on the internet. The ones we are in together are super-imposed. It seems that he’ll do anything to avoid watching Pompey.”

Fratton Park season-ticket holders are said to understand where Al-Fahim is coming from.

– – The Dirty Tackle Press is a football satire parody and contains no true facts whatsoever – –

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