Maradona caught clowing around

DIEGO Maradona is facing more criticism of his coaching techniques as haphazard defender Fabrizio Coloccini may miss the World Cup after a circus-related injury.

The bambi-on-ice centre-back was set to be a key fixture in Maradona’s paceless backline despite his well-recorded problems with maintaining his equilibrium.

Coloccini desperately attempts to stay on his feet

And reports that Coloccini’s injury occurred while a Moscow State Circus performer trained the mopheaded liability to walk the high-wire have been strenuously denied by Maradona.

“Coloccini is a very solid defender – particularly when he is standing still,” said Maradona.

“His balance problems are well documented and we are trying our best to make him stay on two legs – but my philosophy on defending is you don’t always have to be upright.

“And we are always looking at alternative training techniques, like the casino assault course, but these circus rumours are simply not true,” pleaded Maradona.

“The fact there is a trapeze in the training camp is merley a co-incidence,” he added.

Thousands rejoiced in the streets of Buenos Aires as the news of Coloccini’s set-back filtered through, and an impromtu carnival quickly formed.

The throngs of revellers began chanting for further injuries to force Maradona to fall back on omitted world-class players like Cambiasso, Zanetti and Riquelme to enhance his slap-dash squad.

- – Dirty Tackle is a satirical football parody and contains no true facts whatsoever – -

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