Wolves to be banned for being rubbish?
Amongst other things, this will involve assistant referees checking not only substitutes’ studs, but also how many keepy ups they can do before letting them on the pitch.
The premiership as also come up with what could come to be known as ‘The Wolves Equation’ whereby the total of all players’ numbers on the pitch cannot exceed 150.
The rationale behind this is to encourage the team to have as many established first-teamers on the pitch as possible and not bench-warmers with numbers like 19 or 87 on their backs.
This could prompt a mad rush for the invaluable #2 jersey if it is vacated.
Furthermore, the Midlands club has been emphatically walloped with cruel and unusual restrictions for the January transfer window.
“No rubbish,” states the premiership blankly.
“We can’t have clubs like Wolves buying in stalwarts from the lower divisions and reliable journeymen when other clubs are splashing out on exciting, tantrum-throwing visionaries who get them relegated.
“The only way we can stop these roundheads from taking liberties with our franchise is to make sure they buy proper players, not tripe.”
UEFA, who always bitch about teams resting players for Champions League games, are thought to be keeping a keen eye on how the proposals work out.
Because eliminating ‘dead rubber’ matches by changing the Champions League back into a straight knock-out format would just make no sense at all.
- – Dirty Shorts is a satirical football parody and contains no true facts whatsoever – -
